Blackmail On Snape
by Sheriff of Nottingham
Summary: Fred and George see Snape juring the holidays but he doesn't see them. They get blackmail on Snape (i think the title gives that away)
1. Look What We Found

**Disclaimer: I own Snape!!! No stipin, I'm just kidding. However I do love Snape.**

**Author's Note: This fic' will be good for both Snape lovers AND hater's on the account that he eventuall suffers embarassment. It will get funny soon, I promise. This is the first fan fiction I've ever attempted to write so go easy on me. Please read and review, I'll be so happy.**

**Blackmail On Snape**

**Chapter 1: Look What We Found**

Fred and George had been home from Hogwarts for two weeks now. This summer was boring; there was noting to do at home. They decided to buy a couple of those muggle recorder things. Mrs. Weasley was sick of them turning the camera on her so she said "Go play with that...... thing on the train station or something." So they did.

The Twins were having a great time at the train station. "We'll have to thank mom for this!" George said.

"Yeah-"

"Shhh. Babe at nine o clock!"

"Oh wow. She's HOT!!!" Fred said, drooling.

They were looking at a beautiful witch in muggle cloths. Light blue jeans and a tight shirt that fitted her perfectly. The top few buttons were open but it wasn't like she was a hussy. She was just... gorgeous. She had long wavy brown haoir and a bit of a tan.

"Where's the 'Zoom in' button?" Fred asked.

"At the side."

When they got all the angles of her that they wanted on the girl they turned their camera's off.

"George, we shoulg split up. We'll get more that way."

"Goog idea,Fred. See ya' later."

"Bye." Wih that Fred walked away.

It had been about an hour and George's tape was running out.

'I'd better change this thing,' he thought. Just as he got the new tape into place, the train pulled up into station.

He heard a man shout "LAST STOP. PLATFORM 9 AND 3/4"

George taped the people getting off the train, zooming in on all the hot witches. He saw something out of the corner of his eye and he turned to it.

"SHIT!!!" he muttered under his breath and dived behind a pillar. "Why the hell is Snape comming home NOW? School ended two weeks ago." He pased. He froze. "NO... WAY. He wasn't in muggle cloths." George looked out from behind the pillar. Snape WAS wearing muggle cloths. "This is way freaky," he said, his camera still running. He could see Snape wearing a pair of tight black jeans and, from what he could see, a white t- shirt under a navy jumper. All of this put together was NOT the weirdest thing. The WEIRDET thing was his hair. His hair was tied back - into a... ponytail, a slick, tidy, clean and shiny ponytail. George didn't hesitate to use his camera. He followed his despised Potion's Master for quite some time. Little did he know that his brother, Fred, was doing the same thing. Little did they both know that it would turn out to be the biggest piece of blackmail they were likely to get in their lifetimes. AND on Snape!!!

Each twin went to find the other. They didn't nedd to tell each other what they had gotten because they both had huge grins on their faces.

"This year's going to be fun," they said in unison. They had identical evil grins on their faces.

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	2. Getting It Ready

**Blackmail On Snape**

**Chapter 2**: Getting it ready

Fred and George were looking so smug all day.

"Why are you two so happy?" asked Mrs Weasley.

"No reason," they both

said.

The twins were in their rooms for weeks, only popping down for food. People hardly

saw them at all. They were trying to make the perfect 'film' as they were

calling it.

Harry had arrived at the Burrow a few days after Hermione. Ron, Harry, Hermione

and Ginny were trying to figure out why the twins were so

secretive, but they wouldn't talk.

"Oh, come on. Just tell us," Ron

moaned.

"No," Fred and George answered in unison.

"I'll give you a chocolate frog."

"Ron, my dear, sweet little brother. All the chocolate

frogs in the world couldn't compare to what we've got," said George.

"George, we should make copies, just in case," Fred said.

"Good idea!"

The months flew for the Weasley twins. They had spent the whole summer thinking of

things they could make Snape do, with this tape.

"...But we can't push him too far. He won't do anything then."

"But, Fred, that's the beauty of it. It's a win, win situation - for us! If Snape co-operates, we don't have to

show the tape. If he doesn't, we show the tape and watch his embarrassment all year."

Fred smiled.

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	3. Confrontation

Blackmail On Snape  
  
Chapter 3: Confrontation  
  
The train ride couldn't have gone slower for the twins who, for the first time ever, couldn't wait to see Snape.  
  
At the feast they didn't eat anything. They spent the whole time smirking at their Potions Professor who was getting frustrated.  
  
What the hell are they staring at? Snape thought.  
  
He decided to leave early.  
  
"Sorry Professor Dumbledore. I must leave," Snape politely excused himself.  
  
"Oh, come now Severus. Stay another while. What could be so important?"  
  
"I have papers to sort out. Excuse me." he replied curtly.  
  
"I'll see you tomorrow then," Dumbledore said.  
  
Fred and George jumped from their seats and left through the door on the opposite side of the Great Hall. They took a few short cuts to get ahead of Snape.  
  
"Evening, Professor," they said as Snape turned a corner.  
  
He nearly jumped but caught himself just in time.  
  
"What do you want?" Snape growled.  
  
We just wanted to say hi, before the formalities go back up tomorrow."  
  
"Oh. Hi!" his voice was dripping with sarcasm.  
  
He started to walk away.  
  
"We saw you at the train station," Fred said.  
  
Snape stopped.  
  
"At the start of summer," George continued.  
  
Snape turned around.  
  
"We waved but you were... busy," he said trying to hide the smile that was tugging on his lips.  
  
Snape went red. He looked around to see if anyone cold hear them. "Eh... what were you doing there?" he said, trying to keep a little bit of dignity.  
  
"Oh, ya know. Just waiting for someone," Fred answered, also trying to hide a smile.  
  
"Yeah. We wanted to surprise them with the muggle video CAMERA'S we had," George said smugly.  
  
Snape swallowed, which didn't do unnoticed by the twins who had never seen him look so worried. In fact, they had never seen him look worried at all before.  
  
"Really," Snape said shakily. He steadied himself with the table behind him.  
  
"Yeah. We just wanted to say sorry for being such... prats the last few years...!"  
  
"And we were hoping to get very good results in Potions.  
  
"Well you better buckle down and do your research this term," Snape replied sharply.  
  
"Oh, we intend to," Fred said slyly and they walked away leaving Snape staring at their backs.  
  
Please review!!! 


	4. First Class

Blackmail On Snape  
  
Chapter 4: First class  
  
Mei: Yes you do. But then again I do too!  
  
Arwen: Thanks.  
  
Tamsin: Thanks  
  
MauveMaude: Thanks for giving me my first review!  
  
Lily: I nearly got your story typed.  
  
Snape stared after them. His heart was beating fast.  
  
How dare they he thought, but he was shaking.  
  
He heard the students coming out from the Great Hall.  
  
"Damn!"  
  
He ran fast so no one would see him in his state.  
  
=============================================================  
  
The students entered their first class in the dungeons. They all sat down and took their books out as they knew Snape was not the kind of man to chit- chat. No, the twins thought the same, "He's definitely a man of action," Fred said nudging George as they entered the class.  
  
They noticed with glee that Snape looked really tired.  
  
It was true, he didn't get any sleep. He had spent the night tossing and turning.  
  
As the class went on Snape noticed that the twins were talking louder than usual.  
  
Just ignore them. Just ignore them he thought as they let out a loud laugh.  
  
"Will the two Weasley's STOP talking!" he blurted out before he could stop himself.  
  
"Sorry, Professor. We hope this WON'T result in a loss of Gryffindor points," George said innocently.  
  
"Just be quiet," Snape snapped.  
  
They smiled as everyone stared from Snape to them to Snape again.  
  
Please review!!! 


	5. Update

**Author's Note**: HELP! I've got major writer's block. I just finished all last exam. It's been so long since I've updated that I don't think anyone is still reading this. If anyone IS still reading, can you send me a review with ideas? Please?

I had a notebook but I just realised that I've lost it. I suppose it's my own fault - I brought it everywhere. I can't bare to think that someone else has it now, is reading it, has taken my idea's (however bad they are) or worse - realised who wrote them. I can't remember if my name is on it. It will be SOOOOOOOO embarrassing next year.I can't believe how short my last chapter was. Oh the shame.I posted **Dance In Leather Pants **because it was the only one that I had typed at the time.Thanks for all the reviews. I didn't expect any when I started.**Suggestion:** Read College Years by MsSpike. It's a Buffy fic with major Alan Rickman in chapter 2. Let's just say it gives you a daydream with a little extra. 


	6. Bitter revenge

Disclaimer: Not one Harry Potter character is owned my me... Not one... or any at all.  
  
Author's Note: As you know, I've had a little cough writer's block. So thanks to all the reviewers who helped just by letting me know there were still people put there:  
  
Loraliant Angelisa Snape: Go with my heart, eh? If I did that I'd be on the next plane to London, stalking Alan Rickman. Well, here's the 'more' you were looking for. I hope it's good enough... For now.  
  
Angel4eva3: Thanks. It's good to know there are still people out there reading this. Hmmm, I think I'll maybe use both your suggestions. Thanks for the help, it gave me a few brain waves, they hurt, I haven't used them in a while (no school).  
  
Shini the Graver: Thanks for the confidence boost.  
  
Just A Fan: Keen, are you? I'll see what I can do.  
  
Blackmail On Snape  
  
Chapter 6: A Bitter Revenge  
  
"Attention, people! Attention!" George stood on a table in the Gryffindor common room. Fred stood up next to him. "We have an announcement to make," he said.  
  
"An announcement?" a first year asked.  
  
"Yeah. As in we're going to announce something," George shot at the first year. "Before the summer some of you made some... special requests. And I know it's been a bit long but we've been VERY busy." "With another project," Fred finished. "Well we've got them finished so could the guys, you know who you are, tell the guys from the other houses that we'll be sending them letters telling them where to meet us."  
  
"'Bout time too," Lee Jordan shouted out.  
  
A good few people laughed.  
  
"Well that's all except to say that the fake wands are gone up by two knuts."  
  
Fred and George spent the morning writing out the letters for their clients:  
  
"Dear   
  
We have not forgotten your request for you know what. We are writing to inform you of our plans for our Girls, Girls, Girls night. If you know of any other guys who would be interested in this then bring them along. Girls with a taste for other girls are also welcome.  
  
The cost is four galleons per person. It will take place on the night of October 31st. 2.00a.m. We'll meet you in the Great Hall and take you from there.  
  
We hope to see you there.  
  
Sincerely, Your suppliers."  
  
They sent them out that afternoon and then checked that all their equipment was working properly.  
  
"This'll be good," Fred said.  
  
"Yeah, and we'll be rich!" George smiled.  
  
"What are we going to do about Snape?"  
  
"Nothing yet. We'll deal with him when we find something we need from him."  
  
After the Halloween feast the Weasley Twins left to make sure they had everything ready.  
  
At 1.50a.m. Fred and George were sitting in the Great Hall after setting up a projector and the roll of film in another room.  
  
At 2.10a.m. people had stopped coming into the hall.  
  
"Ah. I see everyone is here," Fred said.  
  
"And a few more. Slytherin's included," Lee said  
  
"Is the plan in action?" George asked.  
  
"Yeah. 'Operation - Filter - Out - Tattle Tales - And Wuss's' underway," Lee answered.  
  
Ten minutes later.....  
  
"Fred, George. I got out all the snitch's and girls that shouldn't be here," Lee said, running up to the twins.  
  
"Thanks Lee," the twins said in unison.  
  
"The large (about forty) group of guys (and a hand full of girls) were all in a very dark corner of the Great Hall whispering. "It's about bloody time they got this done," "Took way too long," "At least they're finished now," "We'd better get our money's worth." The whispers ceased when Fred and George skirted around the hall to where the group were gathered.  
  
"Sorry for the delay in our workmanship. We have been very busy," George said in a loud whisper.  
  
"And for making you all wait here," Fred added.  
  
There were angry protests so they had to explain.  
  
"But you do understand the need for my brother and I to do this. This was the only fairly safe place to congregate before we head off to where we'll be viewing it. The teacher's don't think students would be stupid enough to hang around in an open place like the Great Hall after hours, so they generally avoid it when on patrol duty."  
  
"But why did we have to meet here first? Why didn't you just tell us where we were seeing it in the letters?" someone in the crowd asked.  
  
"Because there will always be some people who come just to rat on us. AND it could have been intercepted. That would mean all of YOU getting punished too if they slipped out while nobody was looking. We were right too. Lee had to throw out three people."  
  
A few people laughed at this.  
  
George spoke up again. "So now we proceed in groups of five. The first five will be coming with me. That will be the first five who requested this." He looked at a list. "Browne - Gryffindor, Marley - Gryffindor, Heaney - Ravenclaw, Thomson - Gryffindor and myself. Obviously Gryffindor."  
  
Fred continued. "I'll be taking the second group by a different route." He, too, looked at a list. "That would be O Moore - Gryffindor, Flint - Slytherin, Preston - Hufflepuff, Malfoy - Slytherin... Malfoy? Hello, good to see you. And me, also a Gryffindor," he added for a laugh.  
  
"We'll be coming back one by one for the rest. Pay up now because we don't want anyone sneaking in for free. And NO I.O.U.'s."  
  
"This will take about an hour so if all goes well we should be started at about... 3.30. Is that right George?"  
  
"It most certainly is, Fred."  
  
At 3.30  
  
"We all here? Good. I'll just get this thing started then."  
  
Fred started up the projector and pressed the button to play it. Two hours later their 'clients' - namely the hormonal driven teenage boys - eyes were glued to the projection screen. Stunningly beautiful and sexy women were caught on film by the Weasley Twins. They had somehow managed to sneak into a shoot with underwear models as well as some 'ordinary' sexy woman.  
  
The woman at the train station with the blue jeans and perfectly fitting tight shirt that they were drooling over was on screen when the door of the room of requirements burst open. The screen froze in a close the of the woman's breast's. Their visitor stood there staring dumbly at the screen in total shock. It was Snape and he didn't look as though he had expected anyone to be in the room. He quickly snapped out of his daze and glared at the students who were now all standing. They were still frozen in shock and fear that Snape would personally torture and kill each of them.  
  
"Everyone get the hell back to your dorms before I hang you by your thumbs in Filch's office." They all stood there like arsewipes, not realizing that they were getting away with being there. "NOW....... except the two Weasley's," he sneered, standing right in front of them.  
  
The students walked quickly out of the room, they were afraid that he'd keep them back if they ran. A student bashed roughly into Snape and knock him into the twins. He grabbed the student by the collar and pulled him back. "Malfoy? What are YOU doing here for Merlin's sake?"  
  
"Professor S- Snape. I...eh...I was..." he stammered.  
  
"What will your father say?"  
  
"Oh god. He'll... Please don't..."  
  
"Get out of my sight."  
  
"Yes, Professor Snape sir." Then Malfoy ran for his life, hoping like hell that his father wouldn't be informed."  
  
Snape turned back to the twins and said "Follow me." With that he sweeped out of the room, his robes billowing out behind him. The twins followed behind him. They weren't to nervous because they had their blackmail on their greasy haired Potion's Master, however, one could not be oblivious to the fact that Snape was, by nature, an angry and spiteful man and now he a reason to have them kicked out of the school.  
  
He led them, not to his own office as the twins had thought, but in front of a stone gargoyle - to Albus Dumbledore. This was bad. They couldn't blackmail Snape in front of the Headmaster. They could just see it now 'Mr's Weasley. Where did you come apon this piece of information on my Potion's Master? Do you intend to use it as blackmail?' ' Why yes we do professor. And we came apon this 'piece of information' purely by chance. He saw Snape at the train station and followed him, invading his privacy.' 'Well you can get out of the fact that you were parading women after hours with the blackmail but I'm afraid that I have to toss you out for invading a teacher's personal space. Good bye and have a nice life," he will say with twinkling eyes.  
  
Snape seemed to be thinking along the same lines because he smiled triumphantly at them. "Gummy Bears," Snape said and the gargoyle sprung open. "In," he said simply.  
  
The twins stepped in with Snape right behind them. The stairway inside the gargoyle turned as it raised up to where Fred and George could feel their impending doom.  
  
When they got off the stairs they followed their considerably happier Potion's professor. He moved to the side and they saw the Headmaster already sitting at his desk. His eyes were twinkling merrily. "Hello to you all. What brings you to my office at this early hour?"  
  
"Business not pleasure, Headmaster," Snape stated.  
  
"As always, Severus. What can I do for you?" he repeated.  
  
"I caught these trouble makers in the Room of Requirements just a few minutes ago."  
  
"Why did you need to be there, Severus? Does he need..." The headmaster didn't finish the sentence. Snape merely nodded.  
  
Dumbledore watched the Weasley Twins 'film' half embarrassed. There was a look of amusement on his face as the woman they had been drooling over just before the close up came on screen. He looked at the Potions Master, who looked ready to explode, when it turned off. The corners of his mouth twitched as he tried not to laugh at Snape, he always had found the Potions Master's 'hissy fits' comical.  
  
After a hefty discussion on what their punishment should be, Dumbledore spoke again.  
  
"I don't really think this is grounds for expulsion, Severus. Detention should suffice, every Friday night with Mr. Filch for one month."  
  
"But, Headmaster... They... It... It was practically pornography."  
  
"Severus. I don't think there was any harm done. They are getting punished for being out after hours and that's all. You all better get some sleep. See you at breakfast."  
  
Snape was fuming when they left the office. The twins were on cloud nine. He started to walk away but turned back suddenly and was apon them in seconds. He bent right down to their faces to intimidate them further.  
  
"Do not let me catch you out after hours again and do not cross me or you will be sorely punished," Snape said in a low, dangerous whisper.  
  
When he straightened up again, one of them said "Wouldn't dream of it Severus." Snape glared at both of them, not knowing which of them had spoken and not really caring either. If looks could kill they would have been dead years ago but with this look they would have died thirty times over. Then he stalked off.  
  
Fred and George smiled at each other in triumph. Snape's attempt at revenge had turned bitter.  
  
This was a bit weird but as I said - I was stuck.  
  
Please review with comments and suggestions.  
  
I have another story "Just A Dream" if anyone is willing to read it. If you do could you please review? 


	7. Tehehe

**Disclaimer: I own not these characters. I heard that there's another chance to buy Alan Rickman on eBay though. I'm gonna' try for that. Hold please…. …. ….**

…**damn, I just lost to this 90 year old rich lady. Oh well. Maybe next time.**

**Author's Note: I know I haven't updated this since the end of last July and I'm really, really sorry. I've had loads of howlers coming at my email inbox and _someone _(cough, Rickmaniac, cough) gave me a right kick up the ass and said she'd stop reading my stories if I didn't update this one next… but that didn't work so she handcuffed me to the keyboard and stopped making me laugh. I miss her jokes and chat so here's the update.**

**ZZZZ**

Chapter 7: Tehehe

**ZZZZ**

_Snape was fuming when they left the office. The twins were on cloud nine. He started to walk away but turned back suddenly and was upon them in seconds. He bent right down to their faces to intimidate them further. "Do not let me catch you out after hours again and do not cross me or you will be sorely punished," Snape said in a low, dangerous whisper. When he straightened up again, one of them said "Wouldn't dream of it Severus." Snape glared at both of them, not knowing which of them had spoken and not really caring either. If looks could kill they would have been dead years ago but with this look they would have died thirty times over. Then he stalked off. Fred and George smiled at each other in triumph. Snape's attempt at revenge had turned bitter._

**ZZZZ**

As soon as Snape was out of ear shot, the Twins let out a sigh of relief.

George smiled. "Dear auld' Severus didn't even compliment my camera badge," he said in a posh English accent.

"Upon my word George, you devious old chap. I didn't even notice it myself," Fred mimicked. The two burst out laughing. "You didn't tell me you were testing our Magically Muggle Cameras."

"Forgive me bruv, I forgot I had it on my robes."

The Twins took a few secret passageways to get to their dormitories faster. They wanted to see if their new device worked. This new device of there's was a tiny muggle camera hidden on a simple badge. It worked, obviously, by magical means.

"It's totally blurred," Fred complained.

"Not totally," George said in desperation. "You can just make out Snape there. See?"

"No. that's a shadow!"

"Well Snape's practically a shadow."

"The sound isn't to great either."

They sighed at the same time.

A few weeks and many experiments later, the tiny camera was working. Well, kind of. It only gave sound but that would do for now. They put the picture on hold in favour of working on other pranks. That's how they kept things flowing, you see. If they were stuck, they would go on to another thing and come back to it later on.

It was their Christmas break, near the end of it, and they were bored. The sound recording badges were on but there was nobody to record. Of course at 12.30am there usually wasn't.

They were both flopped onto chairs, almost sliding onto the floor, when George had an idea. "Want to go see if there are any drunks coming from the pub?"

"Yeah," Fred's face lit up. "That'd be class. I'll get our wands, you get the map."

"Right-o."

**ZZZZ**

1.30 a.m.

The Twins looked about the far side of Hogsmeath, where all the houses and pubs were. They recorded one or two wizards they knew, for trading purposes of course, and decided to head back. There wasn't anyone of real interest about.

"This was such a wast-"

"Shhh," Fred put his finger to his lips.

They both swallowed their Vanishing potion and crept closer to see who it was.

The first thing they heard was a woman giggling.

"Hey, that's that witch from the train station again," Fred whispered. She was the one giggling. The witch was very drunk and was falling over her partner who wasn't holding up to well either.

The wizard chuckled and kissed her full on right in the middle of the street.

"Blimy Fred. That's Snape!"

"No chance. That bloke's bloody steamed." They crept forward for a closer look and heard the two whispering to each other.

"Sevvie-poo." More giggling. "You got the sexiest ass ever in the world."

"No you do," 'Snape' said.

"You let your hair grow long again. I'll cut it when we get back."

"No chance. You toooooo drunk to cut my head," he slurred.

"So. You're drunk too!" the witch taunted.

Snape tripped over the pathway "I am not drunk. I'm steamed." He pointed to himself with his thumb.

Fred and George were practically rolling around laughing. "Blimy, that was Snape."

"And he was PISSED!" George said, choking on his laughter.

**ZZZZ**

Back in the common room, the Twins were still laughing at what they had seen.

"I still can't believe it. Snape out getting pissed with a woman."

"What I can't believe is that he apparently had 'the sexiest ass ever' according to that sexy witch," George replied.

"I know. Tehehe.

**ZZZZ**

**Please review!**


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